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Tailoring Mentorship: Achieving the Best Fit

Tailoring Mentorship: Achieving the Best Fit

by Jonathan Wallace

The video titled "Tailoring Mentorship: Achieving the Best Fit," presented by Jonathan Wallace at RailsConf 2017, explores the critical importance of mentorship in personal and professional development, particularly within the software and Rails communities. Wallace discusses various strategies, benefits, and philosophies that surround effective mentorship while guiding both mentors and mentees in fostering productive relationships.

Key Points Discussed:
- Definitions of Mentorship: Mentorship can be formal with scheduled meetings or informal, focusing on the altruistic investment of mentors in their mentees' growth and skill development.
- Benefits of Mentorship: Engaging in mentorship allows mentors to practice leadership skills in low-stakes environments, enhances listening abilities, aids in refining conceptual knowledge, and can provide reminders of the effort required to learn new skills.
- Finding a Mentee: Wallace suggests looking for mentees in online communities, forums, and local meetups, encouraging aspiring mentors to share their passions and establish a reputation as supportive individuals.
- Guiding Mentees: Highlighting that mentees drive the relationship, mentors should maintain an inquiry-based approach, asking questions that facilitate autonomous learning and encourage exploration of challenges.
- Differentiated Learning: Recognizing that learners have varied strengths, Wallace emphasizes the importance of tailoring mentorship approaches to fit individual learning styles and developmental needs.
- Active Listening: As a critical skill in mentorship, active listening involves focusing on the mentee, offering constructive feedback, and ensuring open communication throughout the mentoring process.
- Reciprocity: Effective mentoring is a two-way street, where both parties learn and grow, fostering a positive feedback loop.
- Whole-Person Mentoring: Mentors should understand broader personal challenges of their mentees, as external stress can impact learning and retention of information.

The video concludes with a strong encouragement for experienced developers to engage in mentorship, asserting that one does not need to be an expert to serve as a mentor; rather, having just a slight edge in experience compared to a mentee can be sufficient. Wallace leaves viewers with the message that mentoring benefits both parties, enhances community support, and contributes to the growth of the software development landscape.

RailsConf 2017: Tailoring Mentorship: Achieving the Best Fit by Jonathan Wallace

Are you a Rails expert? To someone just learning Rails, yes, you are. And you can mentor the next generation of experts. What new skills will you develop by mentoring? And how does one find a mentee or mentor? In this talk, you'll learn how to establish effective, quality mentoring relationships where both parties grow their skills—and their career. Mentoring accelerates your personal and career growth. Come learn how much you'll grow by sharing your knowledge and experience using practices like inquiry based learning, differentiated learning, and active listening.

RailsConf 2017

00:00:11.660 welcome everyone thanks for coming to my talk quick note I had planned to thread
00:00:18.750 a bunch of clothing related puns throughout this talk but darn I don't know if I would have been able to knit
00:00:24.060 together okay here and talk about mentorship so instead allow me to introduce myself I work at a company
00:00:31.199 called stitch fix my name is Jonathan Wallace at stitch fix we help our clients become their best selves best
00:00:36.840 selves we are a personalized styling service and we do some cool stuff we do
00:00:42.270 some cool stuff with machine learning and data science and we use some tools that you may be familiar with we use go
00:00:48.600 react angular some rails some Ruby actually a lot of rails and a lot of
00:00:53.699 Ruby and we're hiring so if you want to learn more about our company or what kind of things we do in the engineering
00:00:59.129 department you can get in touch with me or you can come see us by our booth in the exhibit hall so today I'm here to
00:01:05.850 share my thoughts about mentorship with you and I appreciate you coming this isn't a real specific talk but we'll be
00:01:11.100 talking about techniques and strategies and philosophies that when employed will
00:01:16.259 drastically accelerate your career and your skill growth the plan for today is
00:01:21.360 to discuss first what exactly mentorship is and then we want to talk about why
00:01:27.509 you might be interested in doing it and then we'll go into some details the how of good approaches and actual tactics to
00:01:36.750 be effective so let's talk about the what mentorship can be formal you can be
00:01:43.110 something that you do on a regular cadence it can be scheduled you can have 30 minute meetings every week or
00:01:49.110 bi-weekly but it can also be something that is informal and intermittent it can
00:01:54.840 be something that's ad-hoc where your mentee reaches out to you when they have something to talk about something that I
00:02:00.659 think is very important for it to be effective is that it should be altruistic now it's possible your
00:02:07.290 mentoring as part of your job so you are receiving some money along with that so technically you're getting paid but what
00:02:12.930 I think is key here is that you are sincerely invested in the results of your mentee and how they
00:02:18.660 do and how they grow so I think of that as being altruistic so it's not about
00:02:24.360 the money you're sincerely invested despite what other motivators do are and that's really important if you are
00:02:30.360 getting paid outside of a job it's probably not a mentorship relationship
00:02:35.400 it's more like a coach or possibly some type of teacher and in when you're
00:02:43.530 mentoring you're not focused on a particular oath in a particular skill it's a little bit broader than a little
00:02:48.840 bit larger you're looking at the longer-term view so that leads me to
00:02:54.450 talk about the minty and what they bring to the table and I think it's really important to realize that they bring the fuel for the relationship and they bring
00:03:01.380 the spark but as the mentor your job is to be the accelerant you're accelerating
00:03:06.570 their learning in their development and we'll talk about this more later as I think this is probably one of the most important aspects of mentorship and
00:03:13.140 that's why it gets two animated gifs you're also taking the longer-term view
00:03:19.440 of their career growth or their skill set that they're trying to grow your future focus for your mentee you have to
00:03:27.750 have a vision you don't have to have a vision but it's nice to have a vision of where they might go in their career or where how
00:03:33.540 they may grow their skill set it may not be the vision that they ultimately aligned with over the long haul but you're helping them develop their vision
00:03:39.540 more quickly so let's get into the why why am I you want to do something like
00:03:44.760 this one of the key aspects that that I found a lot of value in is it allowed me to practice my leadership skills in a
00:03:51.180 very low stakes environment the consequences are low you'll get many opportunities to course-correct along
00:03:56.910 the way catastrophic failure is very unlikely and this is a great opportunity
00:04:01.950 to practice those leadership skills in the small the stakes are low you may lay
00:04:07.320 out a plan of growth for your mentee let's say you're developing somebody who is new to rails and new to programming
00:04:13.650 in general they may decide that you may sort of share out with them the specifics of how our industry is laid
00:04:21.030 out in terms of career growth you could talk about a back-end developer a front-end developer a UX
00:04:26.190 or maybe a UI designer and this person may indicate interest in one or the
00:04:31.410 other let's say to decide to be a back-end developer and over time maybe a couple weeks they find that they're gravitating more towards the front-end
00:04:37.290 that's okay that's an opportunity for you to reflect and reset your expectations as to what they may need to
00:04:42.390 focus on you also get a portunities to
00:04:48.210 practice your listening skills people rarely say exactly what they mean they tend to use a lot of words and go on and
00:04:54.000 on and on when just a few may suffice this is pretty normal this is called casual conversation and it can be
00:05:00.390 challenging to understand what somebody is trying to get what point they're trying to get to but this is often how knowledge is constructed for us as
00:05:07.080 individuals we will practice as a mentor you will practice active listening
00:05:12.810 skills and that will help you be more adept at identifying what someone's intent is and this is incredibly
00:05:18.870 valuable no matter what sphere you use it in it's valuable whether you're speaking with executives peers
00:05:25.170 co-workers family children all these things are incredibly uh when you can
00:05:30.740 understand what somebody's trying to get to before they get there it allows you to be more effective in your
00:05:35.820 communication which is key as I mentioned before casual conversations
00:05:41.130 may be meandering as someone constructs their understanding of a new idea whether that's the framework an application a programming language
00:05:47.490 construct a programming language in general and want to reason one reason for this is that inexperienced folks are
00:05:54.480 often lack the vocabulary to know what they want they may know what they want I'm excuse me they may know what they
00:05:59.970 want but they don't know exactly how to express it have you ever had a problem like that where you're trying to solve a
00:06:05.669 problem and you want us to use a search engine to help you find the solution and you can't a few weeks ago I was
00:06:11.550 attempting to automate the installation of a Linux distribution called Debian
00:06:17.190 and I knew that this was possible and I found out how to do this for Red Hat rather relatively quickly but I
00:06:22.710 struggled to find the exact phrase that would give me the answers I needed for Debian I searched for phrases like
00:06:28.550 automated install or keyboard list install or keyboard list installation
00:06:33.900 didn't have any luck and it took a couple of days spread out over time before I found that the correct phrase
00:06:39.060 was unattended install that led me to something called proceed and Debian it was fantastic this is a problem that
00:06:45.500 that all of us have experienced in software development and other fields just not knowing the right the right
00:06:51.750 words another challenge is that inexperienced folks may not know what they don't know this is Donald Rumsfeld
00:06:58.650 he was a secretary of defense in 2002 and he has a quote that's applicable here I'm not going to read it directly
00:07:04.740 but he talked about the unknown unknowns and experience is what allows us to take
00:07:10.500 those unknown unknowns and turned them into known unknown stead a good friend of mine
00:07:15.750 Pamela Vickers gave an excellent talk about this in great detail called crossing the canyon of cognizance and as
00:07:22.560 a mentor you're often assisting mentees and helping them turn those unknown
00:07:28.380 unknowns into known unknowns and the way she phrased it was you helping folks get to conscious and competence where
00:07:33.900 they're actually aware of what they don't know and that's incredibly important I highly recommend that talk
00:07:39.510 by the way so mentoring others also allows you to refine your conceptual knowledge and strengthen your vocabulary
00:07:45.300 around a particular domain so a mentee may ask a question where you think you know the answer and then when you go to explain it they become more confused and
00:07:52.170 you may realize that your explanation or maybe your understanding is either not as refined as you would like or not as
00:07:57.690 clear as you would like or maybe they're coming at it from a different angle and they have a different way of conceiving it and when you bridge that gap of
00:08:05.400 Understanding between you two you will find that you've augmented your own understanding maybe you've added a new way to conceive of that particular topic
00:08:12.800 additionally it's also possible and that they may use a different words than you expect as well so you're also expanding
00:08:19.230 your vocabulary I like to think of this is is knowledge as being with this formless void that sum of all knowledge
00:08:24.420 and what we're doing here collaboratively is turning that formless void into a labelled map it's also
00:08:33.240 possible that they may ask about something which that you don't know anything about and you'll have to go do some research and it will inspire you to
00:08:39.150 acquire some new knowledge and then next they can also inspire us with their
00:08:44.700 efforts so they can remind us how how much work it takes to acquire that knowledge and for me as someone who's
00:08:50.130 been involved in the community for a while and been a software developer few years I find that that's a good reminder to stay humble to realize how
00:08:56.510 far I've come and recognize the effort that it takes to get there and appreciate that in others so let's talk
00:09:03.500 about how and start getting into the details first I want talk about how you might find them in tea this is pretty
00:09:10.310 straightforward whether you're into functional programming apprenticeship mentorship or any other topic there's a
00:09:15.800 collection of folks on the internet who probably share that same interest so the key is to find those folks on the internet whether it's a slack
00:09:21.380 organization a forum IRC channels and go to those places and be helpful in real
00:09:27.470 life you can go to meetups and hackathons and find folks who are also getting into software development many
00:09:33.019 years ago I attended a Startup Weekend and I remember meeting someone there and because this is my first weekend ever
00:09:38.120 trying to write software little did I know that three or four years later I would be working with that person and I
00:09:43.519 found it incredibly inspiring that he came to a startup weekend with no experience started teaching himself gave
00:09:49.880 talks at local meetups and I was able to help him out along the way specifically on that weekend but later on we were
00:09:55.190 working together so when you go to these places whether it's online or in real life you want to talk about your
00:10:00.950 whatever you're passionate about maybe you can talk about mentorship and its value to you you can even present and maybe a local
00:10:06.200 meetup or whatever your passion may be if it's not mentorship or something it's some other topic you just want to talk
00:10:12.320 about that share your expertise share your challenges that's incredibly important to share where you're struggling and you'll find folks that if
00:10:20.690 you're available and helpful to others you'll find that other folks will recommend you as a resource to potential
00:10:26.540 mentees you want to develop your brand as a caring helpful person whether it's
00:10:31.820 about a topic which you were passionate about or not you still want to develop that brand and that may also write how
00:10:37.070 folks recommend prospective matiz that comes to you so another Avenue that I
00:10:42.170 like to touch on is children volunteering you can go coach at a chess club the local chess club at a local
00:10:48.709 school or robotics club or some type of athletics there's all of there's Boys and Girls Clubs there's numerous
00:10:55.100 organizations out there that would be happy to have somebody come out and help out and mentoring younger children which
00:11:01.520 is something I did when I was in college I coached soccer from kids youth three to
00:11:06.790 three-year-olds and four-year-olds all the way up to you 19 and what you find is the challenges of communication across all boundaries and if you can
00:11:13.720 communicate with a three-year-old who's still struggling to acquire language in general you can communicate with almost anyone so it's also laced low-stakes there's
00:11:20.980 such great learning learn little engines of learning that they will they will
00:11:26.080 course correct for you faster than you can for them but it gives you a great opportunity to practice that so one of
00:11:33.190 the important things in my mind is that you want to let the mentee drive the relationship if you're driving the relationship that's probably not the
00:11:38.320 right way to go about it so your min team may have objectives and goals or they may not and that is
00:11:43.990 completely alright they may have a problem to talk through when you meet up but they may not and that's okay as well
00:11:49.450 you don't have to be afraid to reach out in schedule there's one exception where I think it's okay you know that it's
00:11:55.720 important to reach out in schedule and that's if you feel at the the relationship may be fading a little bit I when I was doing my research for this
00:12:02.740 talk I came across this quote I thought it was an apt way to put it if you feel it's fading it's not a bad thing to reach out to hey looks like you may not
00:12:09.010 be getting value or you're too busy and that gives them a chance to say hey I've been too busy I would still like to meet
00:12:14.050 with you at a future date or maybe they'd say you know what yes I'm other obligations or other priorities have
00:12:19.750 become a more overwhelming and I need to cut this short for a while and it gives you a way to provide some closure to
00:12:25.630 that experience so when I gave my talk proposal I put some fancy terms in there
00:12:31.690 one of those was inquiry based learning so the input the minty idea behind this is that the minty is driving but you're
00:12:36.880 trying to keep them on the road and make sure they're not they don't get any accidents or travel down any dead ends and one way to do that is to follow this
00:12:43.510 philosophy it's primarily a pedagogical method that was developed during the 60s
00:12:48.610 as a response to the traditional forms of instruction where you sit down and you memorize a bunch of information and
00:12:54.600 that that's the lift philosophy can be thought of as a constructivist
00:13:00.010 philosophy and the idea is that for somebody to learn something you want them to generate information and make meaning of it based on their personal
00:13:06.100 experiences to post a rote memorization this this philosophy indicates that the
00:13:11.770 learner is actually participating in the process they're not just a a receptacle
00:13:16.840 of information so it's very important to remember that inquiry-based learn as experiencial they should be
00:13:21.970 experiencing things along the way and I find that experience is most often sticky and stays with somebody and has
00:13:27.430 value when there's some effort that is expended to go along with it another
00:13:33.730 thing you want to do is an inquiry-based is ask questions you can think about this as the Socratic method so let's say
00:13:40.240 your mentee comes to you with a question about routes in rails so my first questions would be focused on
00:13:45.610 determining exactly what their concern is is this an aesthetic concern about the using restful routing is it
00:13:55.029 something specific that can we be solved with a visit to the guide the rails guides and the route section you want to
00:14:00.130 determine exactly what their challenges and the goal is there by asking these questions is you're hoping to facilitate
00:14:05.770 autonomy for your mentee and we want to get them to a place where they can take
00:14:11.380 those unknowns unknowns and turn them into known unknowns on their own we want them to be autodidactic which is another
00:14:17.260 way of saying that we want to do to be self teaching and neat it's less and less over time so let's talk about the
00:14:22.899 four attributes of inquiry based learning the first is a new being art your field or in an endeavor your
00:14:30.130 ability to distinguish signal from noise is often very challenging it hasn't yet been developed so because of this it is
00:14:36.160 easy to be led astray and be confused so it's important that the information that they're learning is not deceptive
00:14:41.910 another good friend of mine Kiley sadly gave an excellent talk about this called Amelia Bedelia learns to code and she
00:14:48.160 talked about beginner confusions that are very common I remember when I first started learning rails this is something that I experienced and I struggled a
00:14:55.300 distinguish between the executable Rake's command and the rails and the rails executable command and what those
00:15:01.330 things did and I think now since then in more recent versions of rails we've
00:15:06.520 tried to address this to some degree but that's one of the important things is that an inquiry-based for somebody to be
00:15:11.560 driving that process forward that information be structured and as a mentor that's part of what we're doing
00:15:17.279 we are provided we're guiding them through that structure and there was a
00:15:22.480 great blog post in December of 2013 on the code fellows blog and this is a diagram you're not supposed to read it
00:15:28.510 so don't stress out it but this is a diagram of everything that they indicated that you need to know to
00:15:33.810 an effective full stack rails developer and I really want to reiterate this was in 2013 and that's change stinks has
00:15:40.320 changed that's been four years since that's happened so they talk about why learning rails is hard and we can see
00:15:46.529 why there's some value in some internship to help folks navigate this so how much time should someone spend
00:15:53.370 when they're learning the command line this is the type of question that we as a mentor you will help in my opinion you
00:15:58.830 want to make that very small you want to give them the basics if they're new to software development you may show them that the terminal just a couple of
00:16:05.279 commands using like CD things of that nature and the reason the other third
00:16:11.670 point is that you want to make sure that the knowledge that they have is transferable so if they're learning how to develop software they can use that in
00:16:17.010 other languages if they're learning how to use the command line that still lasts forever so the fourth point is that in the real
00:16:25.020 is that um you want that structured knowledge out to also be easily retrievable one of the values that I
00:16:30.690 really appreciate about our community is that we do place a relatively high value on documentation it's not a hundred
00:16:36.810 percent across-the-board but we have you have the fancy Rails guides which is something that I still use today so I
00:16:42.810 wanted to get into specifics for doing inquiry based learning with your minty and walk through what that process might
00:16:47.940 look like we want them to devise their own questions so again let's say we're
00:16:53.820 mentoring someone in rails and they want to apply a discount to something that's a product and maybe they want to change
00:16:59.910 the sales price and they come to to you asking for help modeling that I think
00:17:05.370 you might want to talk about the different approaches with them you could talk about the value in having logic in
00:17:11.939 the controller you can talk about the value and benefits of having the logic in the model maybe worth being called
00:17:18.209 from the controller you could talk about the value of using callbacks or you could talk about the value using service objects the idea is by asking them
00:17:24.480 questions you want to expose them to a bunch of ideas and then facilitate them going and doing some research on their own and when I say doing research it may
00:17:31.320 be that they are going out and looking up blog post or maybe they're spiking out an approach and trying it out to see
00:17:37.050 what it looks like and then after they've done that you want to come back to you and sort of explain what's going
00:17:42.330 on and share that experience with you and you're hoping to find that they're able to
00:17:48.390 their reasoning and their thought process through the research they've done this is a great opportunity to facilitate their growth with respect to
00:17:54.690 how to find things on the internet because that may be challenging as well and then finally you want them to
00:18:00.390 develop an opinion about it this is incredibly important because this is where they're really constructing their knowledge and finding a way to to
00:18:06.780 imprint it in their brain and retain it and alone over there longer threshold of time you want them to make an argument
00:18:13.860 that makes sense so this isn't prescriptive it's just a general guideline and there you can there can be
00:18:21.030 loops in this where you cycle through the first couple of steps a couple of times that's normal so the next thing I
00:18:28.440 want to talk about was differentiated learning and this is a fancy term for teachers that they use to talk about the
00:18:33.809 fact that children learn in different ways which we can generalize into the fact that people learn in different ways
00:18:39.000 people have different learning styles we all have different strengths and different weaknesses specifically we all
00:18:45.240 have different zones of proximal development and this is another fancy term that was developed by a Russian
00:18:50.970 named Lev Vygotsky and it is the difference between what a learner can do and what a what a learner can do without
00:18:58.380 help so here's a great image that it shows that visually if you're a visual
00:19:05.820 learner I wanted to make sure to share that on the outer ring we have what the learner may not be able to do yet maybe they can't develop facebook on their own
00:19:12.710 and in the middle there's a set of tasks and challenges where a mentor a mentee
00:19:18.990 may tackle those and they may need some help along the way and then in that inner circle you have where a learner
00:19:24.630 can do complet ask on their own and our job is to fill our mentee with tasks and
00:19:30.720 challenges and make sure they're focused on the right tasks and the right challenges that are in that middle tier
00:19:35.790 we want to make sure these tasks are not too difficult we want to make sure they're not too easy we want them to be
00:19:41.429 just right to facilitate their growth another thing to ask yourself about your
00:19:46.440 mentee is whether they're an exploratory learner or they're somebody who likes to go through tutorials how much freedom do
00:19:51.540 they need in their process that will change over time so this isn't a question that un's asked once and then
00:19:57.120 it stays answered are they comfortable pairing would they prefer to work alone they like to think out loud these are
00:20:03.059 all important questions to ask yourself when you're thinking about how you can most effectively help them and then I
00:20:08.970 mentioned this earlier but I think it's the key thing this goes back to the key thing as the accelerant we're going to talk about morale maintenance I want to
00:20:16.470 reinforce how important it is to know the signs of stress and to recognize when someone's ready to throw in the towel and give up and maybe need a
00:20:22.860 reprieve or take a break I can't over stress the importance of this when knowing when you're mint you
00:20:28.710 may need a boost a compliment or a sympathetic ear knowing when they're ready for a bigger challenge or when they're ready for constructive feedback
00:20:34.649 is incredibly important so again you're the accelerant another way to think about this is that you may be the bellas
00:20:40.980 to their fire remember they're this they are the fuel in the spark and we are providing air to help accelerate their
00:20:47.490 growth if we give too much air if we give to challenges that are too large we can blow out that spark and burn them out right or if we don't give enough air
00:20:54.360 we can starve them of the oxygen they need to be effective so you want to provide the right amount at the right time and that's sort of the thesis of
00:21:00.870 this talk so I had some general mentored by someone in the cover as well I talked
00:21:06.809 in the beginning about it being altruistic and you being sincerely invested in their in their goals and their efforts
00:21:13.019 but I also think the relationship does need to be reciprocal and the reason why is that you're learning from them as
00:21:18.929 well and if you're going to be consistently working with them over time there has to be some value that you're getting back out of that again you're
00:21:25.500 giving without an expectation of receiving anything but if the relationship is going to last over the long haul you'll find that you're
00:21:30.899 helping each other grow and it becomes a positive feedback loop one of the cool things about working with someone who is
00:21:37.379 less experienced is that there's something called the beginner's mind and Richard schneemann
00:21:42.389 recently recently wrote a blog post I think a week or so ago about a typo that has existed for four years I think he
00:21:48.659 said it underwent over nineteen revisions and this wasn't some documentation he had written it had been
00:21:54.960 seen by multiple editors and it was not caught it wasn't caught until someone new to software development was reading
00:22:00.629 this post and caught it in this blog post he goes in the details around it and it's a small typo but it really
00:22:05.970 highlights the fact that the beginners are struggling to distinguish between signal noise and there have to focus
00:22:13.649 that focus that they bring to it is much higher level than we do typically as an experienced person we are taking
00:22:19.919 shortcuts this is normal but it's something to remind us of the value of that focus that is important to think
00:22:26.159 about and I get value out of that and I find that to be reciprocal you also want
00:22:31.829 to think about their work ethic that's very inspiring to me they're working through that signal noise again that's it's it's a monumental when you first
00:22:38.999 get started if you haven't had the opportunity to mentor someone and you start doing it they will ask a lot of questions and you'll be like why are you
00:22:44.609 asking that question and then when you think about yeah of course that makes sense but a lot here's here's the interpretation that you might want to
00:22:50.039 take so they're constructing that knowledge regularly with your help and their efforts to do so are very
00:22:56.009 inspiring they're struggling with the challenges of the magic phrase and the silly typos that when I first started do
00:23:03.659 developing software and I did not have someone who's more experienced that you have to fight through on your own so as a mentor you can really greatly
00:23:09.299 accelerate their growth so be inspired by the efforts and tenacity recognize their greatness for what it is let it
00:23:15.389 motivate your efforts to be better and to do better also the cool another cool thing is that your mentees are going to explore more
00:23:21.989 technology then collectively than you can do on your own and you want to take advantage of that effort you wanted to
00:23:28.499 allow it to inform your opinions and grow your respect for their efforts
00:23:33.869 your guidance on dimensions to consider when they're exploring new technologies can help them out a great deal but
00:23:39.059 they're going to come back and report back and say hey I went and investigated this new tool called jQuery and it's a lot better than script Acula to
00:23:45.719 prototype or whatever the other the other javascript library was at the time when that first came out so one of my
00:23:52.979 friends a person that I had mentored through his career transitioned the technology tells me all the time about
00:23:58.229 the new stuff he's working with and his his career is now diverged that's a perfect example of facilitated his
00:24:03.719 growth into rails and Ruby and now he's regularly doing closure and functional programming and he comes
00:24:09.629 back and shares a lot of that information with me and it additionally is he's also it's my professional
00:24:14.789 network that's growing as well so that's another value that you can get out of that I think it's important to touch on
00:24:20.969 this you have to mentor the whole person we talked about you're not just focused on a particular skill is usually in the context of a larger picture and if
00:24:28.259 someone is stressed learning is impacted when you're meeting with your mentee you want to avoid
00:24:34.260 transactional relationships you want to avoid saying okay what's your current
00:24:39.420 problem when we solve that let's move on you have to think about the bigger picture maybe your mentee mentioned about some
00:24:45.120 problems that they were having with a significant other or maybe they had a problem with a pet or maybe they were
00:24:50.490 trying to sell their house all of these things will impact their ability to effectively grow because they can't
00:24:57.060 retain information when they're stressed out this is normal this is a picture of a zebrafish and there was a study that
00:25:04.440 some scientists did where they trained the zebrafish enough in a maze for 14 days with a food reward and then they
00:25:11.250 introduced some stress and then put them through their tests and they found that it graphically impaired their ability
00:25:16.890 their spatial and cued memory if you you're meant to use acquiring knowledge and then all sudden their stress you're
00:25:22.320 going to see their level backtrack a little bit and fall off where you may have expected to be in the past and that's normal so it's important to
00:25:28.830 realize that when you lend a sympathetic ear at those types of moments it can be drastically impactful in terms of their
00:25:34.440 ability to retain information and maybe the current session that you're working in which brings us to how do you do that
00:25:43.620 how do you make sure you're addressing those concerns we this is something that I've heard about in numerous different
00:25:48.780 avenues in my life where there was software development or coaching the concept of active listening and it's
00:25:54.090 important enough to reiterate if you have heard about it before we're going to go through those steps and the first thing is you want to pay attention and
00:26:00.480 this is something that I constantly remind myself when I'm having conversations with anyone whether it's my children or my wife or co-workers at
00:26:07.350 work that I want to make sure I'm looking at the speaker directly I'm framing myself to hear exactly what
00:26:13.350 they're saying and I'm trying to put aside my distracting thoughts so just like our mentees may be less effective
00:26:18.540 if they're stressed out the same thing applies to myself so I want to make sure I'm balanced before I go into a meeting
00:26:23.970 with someone if their environmental factors that are going to distract you
00:26:29.160 want to try to lessen those if you're a person who gets distracted by side conversations maybe not meet with them in a coffee shop you want to make sure
00:26:35.940 that you're able to focus on their body language and you want to show that you're listening so I find that focusing
00:26:42.060 on these notes as working working with folks and even though I've been doing this for four or five years or six years I still think
00:26:49.600 about go back to these notes to help me remind myself to do these things as I'm talking to them and I'm trying to use my
00:26:54.610 own body language to make sure I'm conveying to them that I'm paying attention I will not occasionally I'll make sure I
00:27:00.670 smile and I want to make sure my body posture is open to them I've worked in
00:27:07.480 some cramped rooms with folks at times what I've been mentoring them and I'll make sure that I'm able to scoop my
00:27:12.580 chair so that I'm facing them directly and I my shoulders are relaxed and I don't have my arms crossed even if it's
00:27:18.040 cold those little cues I think about the things that add up you know they add up over time and they make a big difference
00:27:23.830 you also want to encourage them to speak with vocal cues saying yes uh-huh indicates that you're listening and that
00:27:30.370 you're following along to what they're saying next you want to provide feedback
00:27:35.700 it's a good idea to reflect back to them what they're saying and summarize what I'm hearing is you're saying that you're
00:27:42.400 struggling with restful routes and you think you want to do this one off ad hoc route and let's talk about that or it
00:27:47.980 sounds like you're saying that you don't like model specs because of x y&z taking that opportunity to reflect back what
00:27:53.890 they're saying is helping them know what how they're communicating and it's giving them an opportunity to course-correct in the conversation and
00:28:01.150 you want to ask questions along the way to you know what do you mean when you say that is this exactly what you mean
00:28:08.080 when you're talking about the route problem that we're having if you summarize their their comments periodically it's a great idea note
00:28:14.770 you're not interrupting them though you're deferring judgment you're just you're just clarifying and trying to to
00:28:20.950 finesse what they're saying to their and their intent interrupting is a terrible idea and I think that in our career it's
00:28:28.210 very if there's a forcing function and that computers are very pedantic so we tend as software developers to
00:28:34.330 become more pedantic over time this is my personal hypothesis and so it's important to remember that when you're mentoring someone this is not the time
00:28:40.660 for patent for pedantic ISM you actually want to defer your judgment make sure you understand exactly what they're
00:28:46.630 saying if you're interrupting to say well at well actually it's not quite that you're you're limiting the full
00:28:53.920 understanding of their message and you're probably frustrating them along the so you want to make sure they finish saying what they need to say and that
00:29:00.610 that that before you're asking harder questions and you definitely don't to interrupt with counter-arguments so when
00:29:08.170 you do get the opportunity to provide feedback you want to be open candid and honest telling someone false
00:29:14.410 superlatives or false compliments is not as helpful as giving them the harder truth but you also want to make sure
00:29:21.070 you're when somebody is starting out they may make a lot of small mistakes they may confuse rails and rakes commands but there may be a bigger
00:29:28.360 foundational issue that's more important it's a good idea to address those in small amounts and and to balance out the
00:29:34.740 constructive criticism with compliments so you want to make sure too that you
00:29:40.150 assert your opinions respectfully while you're doing that there's the concept of the golden rule where you treat others
00:29:45.460 how you would like to be treated that works most the time but I like a rule of next level above that which is treat
00:29:51.610 them how they would like to be treated remember each person is individual we all have our different strengths and weaknesses the best way to know what
00:29:57.910 that is is to ask would you like some feedback on a scale of one to ten how constructive would you like me to be or
00:30:04.000 how candid would you like me to be and sometimes you can ask do you need me to help you solve this problem or would you
00:30:09.280 like me just to listen to and be sympathetic it's never hurts to be explicit about that type of stuff so
00:30:16.410 only the bonus round that's the that comes a lot of my stuff from the mentor perspective but I wanted to talk a little bit about being a mint tea to
00:30:24.520 fill it out so how do you find a mentor if you're looking for one the key thing here is to know what your own Streaks
00:30:30.160 strengths and weaknesses are it's the same side of the coin as a mentor how do
00:30:35.320 you find out what those are the key one key thing that you can do is you can ask right you can go and ask your friends
00:30:42.070 your family members your co-workers your peers hey how am i how am i doing as a manager how am i doing as a co-worker
00:30:47.710 what do you find most valuable about my work efforts and collect their feedback I did this recently and I reached out to
00:30:55.540 a bunch of folks and I was very impressed with the breadth of the feedback that I got but what was very
00:31:01.870 interesting to me is that there was consensus from all these folks who were not necessarily knew each other about
00:31:08.710 certain challenges they saw and certain drinks that they saw it was great to hear about the strengths it was also
00:31:14.289 humbling to hear about the the challenges and one of the things they said is hey you might spread yourself too thin sometimes I feel that I don't
00:31:20.320 get enough value or attention from you and so that's something I've got an
00:31:25.570 opportunity to work on so once you know yourself and you know where you want to work on whether you're trying to augment
00:31:30.940 your strengths or mitigate your weaknesses you want to make sure that you think of someone you respect as this
00:31:36.129 person a highly technical CTO or are you looking up to someone who is an individual contributor who's very
00:31:41.590 effective at what they do they're humble they're always knowledgeable they always have time for folks but then yet they somehow produce a great amount of work
00:31:47.830 at the same time are they a gregarious co-worker who can speak anybody and they
00:31:52.899 get to they grow they're their professional network with ease or they a project manager who ask excellent questions that keeps the work flowing
00:31:59.499 across multiple different teams and ensuring that everybody always has something important and relevant to do
00:32:04.809 once you think of that type of person it's very straightforward oh you have to do with ask you may ask for a formal
00:32:11.049 relationship you may ask you may want to start small and ask for help with a particular problem to sort of test the waters out you may ask for regular
00:32:18.159 meetings or you may be asked for ideas it's not a bad idea to start off with a compliment hey I really like how you do
00:32:23.320 XY and Z and I would like to learn more from you I'm having this problem you have some feedback for me on that that
00:32:29.470 can be an effective way to go next I
00:32:34.509 want to make sure to touch on remote mentoring because we work in the industry where we can do that and it's
00:32:40.840 very similar to what we a lot of things are very similar to already talked about but a couple of things are specific one
00:32:46.509 is that whenever you can prefer the higher fidelity communication medium if you can do video if you can meet in
00:32:51.729 person that's great if you can't try to do it over video chat if there's a lag in the audio and the video then you want
00:33:00.309 to just go to audio if you're working on code together you want to do some type of screen sharing that makes the
00:33:06.690 meetings a lot more effective and when you're talking especially if you're just talking over voice make sure to smile it
00:33:13.299 helps you enunciate and it comes across in the communication and then it's also one of those things where your physical
00:33:19.239 response will affect your mood so maybe if you weren't quite as excited about the process
00:33:24.440 four hands smiling will get you there over the course of the conversation the
00:33:29.750 next thing I want to point out is to make sure to maximize whatever program you're using to communicate with if you're communicating with them if you're
00:33:35.720 communicating over the phone get away from your computer so you can't be distracted I call this cheating on folks if I am working with somebody remotely
00:33:42.440 and I start typing or something like that I'm no longer giving them my full attention and I'm really not giving
00:33:47.900 doing justice to that communication that moment I'm not giving I'm not doing justice to them as a person so if you
00:33:54.680 are using a tool like Skype or Google Hangouts if you maximize that and maybe shut down notification that's a great
00:34:00.980 idea to stay more focused so early in the talk I left out one important reason
00:34:06.800 why you should mentor and I wanted to cover that before we wrapped up and this is your call to action so you're at a
00:34:15.260 rails conference and whether this is your first conference or your first rail conference or your tenth conference whether you have ten minutes of
00:34:22.220 experience or ten years of experience the growth of this particular community it was a great debt and immeasurable
00:34:27.920 debt to the open source software community there's many folks who put in many years of effort and you may not be
00:34:34.190 a person who's interested in doing contributing back to the community via software development or documentation
00:34:39.380 and that's okay one of things you can do is reach out and help out a ruby friend and you don't have to be an expert to do this you
00:34:46.130 don't have to be perfect at mentoring mentorship is a skill just like any other and it takes time to become more
00:34:51.590 adept at it so you can just be one step further beyond then the person that
00:34:57.200 you're mentoring and that works out okay as well so that's sort of wraps up my
00:35:02.810 talk I want to make sure to cover some credits and thanks real quick before I go I want to thank the for Athens coffee Club and Athens women in tech
00:35:08.750 organizations for allowing me to give earlier versions of this talk I want to thank stitch fix for allowing me to give
00:35:14.120 this talk as well and give me the time to work on it and friends and family who I cajoled and coerced into listening to me also give earlier versions of these
00:35:20.690 talks I've got a bunch of links here to folks the talks that I referenced the
00:35:26.780 blog posts that I referenced and some other resources that are referenced for material throughout does anybody have
00:35:32.270 any questions that's a great question so the question was what do I look for when I'm
00:35:37.620 looking at a company to see if they're supportive of mentorship is that a great way to say it okay yeah that's a great
00:35:42.780 question so I started at stitch fix last October and this is a sound that's going
00:35:49.050 to sound like I'm shilling a little bit but I got aligned with it I got super excited about it I look at their I look
00:35:54.750 at their their job descriptions and I don't just look at my particular job description the job that I'm interested
00:36:00.270 in at the time I look across all of them and read them and say okay what are they asking about were they talking about in
00:36:06.360 terms of their values are they valuing people first that's that's incredibly important to me and so that's how I
00:36:12.720 would choose a job I also do a little bit of stalking so if there's folks who
00:36:19.350 are on the careers page you can go check out their social profiles and determine
00:36:24.570 whether what kind of folks those folks are to see if it's going to line well and it doesn't mean that you have to
00:36:30.470 that necessarily you have to find the perfect fit you're in my opinion you're looking for openness and you're looking
00:36:35.940 for alignment just fine if it's the right job for you I heard of a company and Aflac organization that I'm a part
00:36:42.810 of where they were advertising for folks that you could come on board and you could be a they would train up junior
00:36:48.870 developers but it comes along with a contract and if you leave before the end of few years they want you to pay back a
00:36:56.070 certain amount of money and so in my mind this may be a perfectly acceptable Avenue for a junior developer if they
00:37:02.760 find that that needs that fits their context I don't know if they need it how hard how you know how dire their need is
00:37:08.490 for a position but in my mind the fact that they're saying hey there's a transactional aspect of this
00:37:13.680 relationship is a red flag and if I were in that position where I really needed a job and I needed to go into it I would at least go into it with eyes wide open
00:37:20.190 so those are the types of things I would look for that's a great question thank you did I answer your question okay cool a
00:37:26.160 question cool thanks again for coming I
00:37:31.320 really appreciate it again if you need reach out to me find me or find a cell over in the exhibit hall